Tuesday, 7 April 2009 - 11:08 am


I didn’t cut myself yesterday. My fingernails were bleeding. I freaked out when I saw it; I didn’t even realise I’d made a noise until a couple of the others came running over. It wasn’t until Sally covered my hands with a towel that I managed to calm down. Then I fainted.

I’ve never fainted before. Ever. I’ve never felt my head swim and then plunge into darkness like that. For an awful moment, I thought I was suffocating. Then I woke up in the middle of being lifted onto a bed in the furniture store. Embarrassment was the first thing that flooded over me, followed by the sneaking footprints of fear.

The weirdest thing was that it didn’t really hurt. I was just… leaking. My fingertips are all bound up now – I look like I tried to pick up a porcupine.

The rest of the group has been really good about it. I’m not allowed to get up until we figure out what’s going on, and Ben and Matt keep bringing me things. Food, water, sometimes a conversation, though the latter not so much from Ben. He looks scared, I think, though it’s hard to tell with him. I haven’t told him how shaky I get when I try to stand up. I feel like all the strength has been drained out of me.


Getting harder to concentrate; I can’t post much. Sax’s cough is worse, and I think he’s laid up now as well. Could have sworn I heard someone else coughing too.

Need to rest. Post more later.