Monday, 3 August 2009 - 12:50 pm


I killed a  man last night. I killed someone I love. I didn’t want to. I didn’t mean to.

They sound like such feeble excuses. Thorpe brought the gun, but it was my hands that did it.

I had to make a choice. Ben or Matt. The two people who mean the most to me in this world.

And now I’m covered in blood. I keep looking at my hands and seeing his face. So surprised, his eyes staring at me though he’d already fled from behind them. That perfect circle punched through skin and skull. I did that.

Tears won’t wash it away, but they keep coming anyway. I can’t sleep.

I can’t do this. I can’t find the words. I thought writing it down would help, but there’s no sense to be found in any of it.

I killed someone. I think I killed myself, too.